Let Yourself Float

Identity is supposed to be self-determined, we’re not supposed to listen to what others think about us and let that define who we are. But without relative measurements that have been assigned to us, the number we come up with ourselves is essentially meaningless. The spectrum of who we were, to who we are, to who we could be collapses.

​

Our ‘identity’ is situated in our collectiveness. We recognize each other and thus are able to recognize ourselves. Instead of 7 billion individual identities that are all self-contained, we all bleed into each other and form a fluid collective consciousness.

​

So why am I writing all of this woo-woo philosophical stuff? What does it do for me or more importantly, for you, the person who chose to read this and at this point has put in too much time to just stop? I’ve observed that when people so fiercely guard a strong sense of self, it can make everything else seem like a threat. If something I hold true to myself isn’t true to someone else, what are they trying to say about me and my perception of reality? 

​

In the grand scheme of things, cradling our self identity in such precious regard is as useful as staring into the sun. It might help shed light on making sense of the world around us but it can also blind us to the people we live in it with and even to ourselves. When we’re unable to see others for how they are, our ‘collective’ isn’t a true collective with people missing.

​

This isn’t to diminish the pride you can feel in how you identify as a person or devalue the worth of an individual. In fact, it makes me feel priceless by freeing me from the boundaries of whom I ought to be because it doesn’t matter who I am. 

​

The cost of this freedom, however, might be a little steep for society to bear. The neater the categories we outline and accept, the more organized and simpler our lives feel. We try to sort things into black and white because the grey area feels uncertain, scary. Putting tags on ourselves and others gives us basic variables to derive meaning and attempt to understand who we are.

​

Giving up preconceived standards of identity markers such as culture, gender and sexuality, personality, and age means sacrificing a way of life that is familiar and expected. Letting go of social norms and expectations that help us navigate our surroundings. It’s easier to hold onto a hand that guides us through the world than wander with no direction. 
 

It would also be negligent not to mention that defining and dividing people has historically leveraged power dynamics in favor of select groups to remain on top. Civilization implies a degree of control over people, an unspoken contract we are born into in order to maintain a sense of stability (and maybe even a sense of superiority that distinguishes us as men over animals).  Although these power dynamics only benefit a few, it maintains an order we are used to– better the devil you know.

​

We use this universal reality as our life raft from all of the other endless unknowns that come with being alive and attach ourselves to it to avoid being left unseen. It’s deeply frightening to let go of constructs of ourselves because of the fear of sinking into an oblivion of nothing. But by depriving myself of being anything I can also feel like nothing, it allows me to float.